Car Hauler Vid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWDPsj5SgDM&hd=1
Me driving through California, Nevada in Car Hauler.
Road Rage, and the one finger salute
Part of my job out here on the road is public relations. This means waving at people and giving the kids a blast on the ol air horn when they give me that universal sign you know pumping the elbow and arm for all its worth in a frantic parody of a driver pulling the air horn. This means being careful of others around me using my turn signal when turning or changing lanes and trying not to cut people off if at all posible. Sometimes changing lanes can be quite difficult when in traffic.
One of my Pet peeves with four wheelers is when I hit my turn signal to make a lane change usually to pass. and the guy half a mile back decides that he just has to make it past me first. Invariably he hits the accelerator and suddenly is at the rear of my trailer where he proceeds to slow back down to highway speed “right next to me” and act like nothing happened. Usually I can tell when a car is going for it and refrain from moving over until said driver has saved western civilization and made his amazing dash around “the annoying trucker”. Sometimes I am the annoying trucker and end up cutting off the poor innocent four wheeler. Quite often the same four wheeler gives me the finger, a fist, and or a few choice words. I have in the past been more than happy to give back the finger but I recently found a much more fun and interesting way to deal with the one finger salute. All you have to do in order to diffuse the situation, is wave like they are your best friends and smile like an idiot.
I will never forget the first time I did this I had just pulled out of the Pilot in Milltown Montana when around the bend comes joe yuppy in a four runner. Seeing that Yours truly is starting to make a lane change into his lane of travel hits the accelerator and starts flashing his headlights like somehow this will stop me from making the turn that I have already committed too. I know the drill once we hit the interstate Joe Yuppy four runner doesn’t disappoint. He whips around me his horn blaring his wife has also donned war gear and the window is down as the four runner accelerates and then slows down next to me for just a moment I fantasize about dumping my Wee Jug over the garishly painted grimacing female warrior screaming at me and showing me a stubby middle finger with one long garishly painted claw on it. Instead I shut down all fight systems and dig deep into my Clown Nature. I start waving franticly and paste my best Bozo Smile onto my face. I am amazed my shock and awe campaign has worked. The shocked look on the The grimacing female warriors face is priceless. She looks away from me and at the middle Claw finger like some evil elf has just come out of nowhere and planted it on her hand. She looks over at her husband he is leaned over her fist clenched angry snarl frozen on his lips.
I continue to bobble my head up and down and smile like a blooming idiot…waving my hand and cursing under my breath. Suddenly The four wheeler slows down and goes behind me. I am thinking to myself what is going to happen? why are they slowing down and following me? Are they coming up with another plan of attack? Calling my company? getting my license plate number to call 911 and report a trucker that is losing his marbles on the interstate? Then the four wheeler pulls out again. this time it pulls up slower I look over Both of my adversaries have removed thier warpaint. They are both smiling sheepishly and waving. I give them the thumbs up and suddenly Warm Fuzzies are everywhere. I am glad we are in separate vehicles because I am afraid we would all hug each other and start singing Coom by Yaaah. then they are gone. I mop my brow and pop an aspirin for good measure. Ahhh, all is well. Life out here on the road is truly an adventure…..Highwaym
One of my Pet peeves with four wheelers is when I hit my turn signal to make a lane change usually to pass. and the guy half a mile back decides that he just has to make it past me first. Invariably he hits the accelerator and suddenly is at the rear of my trailer where he proceeds to slow back down to highway speed “right next to me” and act like nothing happened. Usually I can tell when a car is going for it and refrain from moving over until said driver has saved western civilization and made his amazing dash around “the annoying trucker”. Sometimes I am the annoying trucker and end up cutting off the poor innocent four wheeler. Quite often the same four wheeler gives me the finger, a fist, and or a few choice words. I have in the past been more than happy to give back the finger but I recently found a much more fun and interesting way to deal with the one finger salute. All you have to do in order to diffuse the situation, is wave like they are your best friends and smile like an idiot.
I will never forget the first time I did this I had just pulled out of the Pilot in Milltown Montana when around the bend comes joe yuppy in a four runner. Seeing that Yours truly is starting to make a lane change into his lane of travel hits the accelerator and starts flashing his headlights like somehow this will stop me from making the turn that I have already committed too. I know the drill once we hit the interstate Joe Yuppy four runner doesn’t disappoint. He whips around me his horn blaring his wife has also donned war gear and the window is down as the four runner accelerates and then slows down next to me for just a moment I fantasize about dumping my Wee Jug over the garishly painted grimacing female warrior screaming at me and showing me a stubby middle finger with one long garishly painted claw on it. Instead I shut down all fight systems and dig deep into my Clown Nature. I start waving franticly and paste my best Bozo Smile onto my face. I am amazed my shock and awe campaign has worked. The shocked look on the The grimacing female warriors face is priceless. She looks away from me and at the middle Claw finger like some evil elf has just come out of nowhere and planted it on her hand. She looks over at her husband he is leaned over her fist clenched angry snarl frozen on his lips.
I continue to bobble my head up and down and smile like a blooming idiot…waving my hand and cursing under my breath. Suddenly The four wheeler slows down and goes behind me. I am thinking to myself what is going to happen? why are they slowing down and following me? Are they coming up with another plan of attack? Calling my company? getting my license plate number to call 911 and report a trucker that is losing his marbles on the interstate? Then the four wheeler pulls out again. this time it pulls up slower I look over Both of my adversaries have removed thier warpaint. They are both smiling sheepishly and waving. I give them the thumbs up and suddenly Warm Fuzzies are everywhere. I am glad we are in separate vehicles because I am afraid we would all hug each other and start singing Coom by Yaaah. then they are gone. I mop my brow and pop an aspirin for good measure. Ahhh, all is well. Life out here on the road is truly an adventure…..Highwaym
One day in the life
Heading down south from Kent it has been a long day I decide to pull in to GeeCees Truck Stop for a cup of Coffee. I add 3 doughnuts 2 glazed and a Fritter to the mix and head out the door. I am careful going over the potholes in the parking lot so as not to spill my Coffee, and as I get up to speed on the interstate I reach for a doughnut letting the sugary goodness melt onto my tongue filling me with those wonderful empty Carbs that are guaranteed to get me a brief 10 mile high followed by a Crash. The Coffee should be kicking in about that time though, helping me stay awake just long enough to get me to Portland and Jubitz truck stop where I will be sleeping tonight. I reach for the Cup bringing it close and wham I somehow manage to fumble the cup..I overeact seizing defeat from the jaws of victory proceeding to dump 16 ounces of scalding Joe onto my Stomach, Crotch, and Legs, I scream like a little girl and then remember that Grandma says God is always watching, start to Cuss like a Sailor so he wont think im a total wuss …..this is followed by silence as I begin to relish the exquisite pain. The smell of Fresh Coffee fills the air with the ever so faint aroma of frying bacon. However, there is always a silver lining to every Scalding Cup of Joe….For the first time in the last 16 hours I can truly say I am awake……B